What You Don't Know About Paul Santos CAN Hurt You

I've noticed a lot of misconceptions about my character and my history, especially as we begin these final, mudslinging weeks prior to the Presidential Elections in the United States. Many of these misconceptions can lead to not only injured feelings, but also injured limbs, so allow me to take a moment to "clear the air", if you will:

Myth #1: Paul Santos is a Libertarian
False. Paul Santos is a LIBRARIAN. Big difference. When I'm not partying at DTD, I'm either not studying, or working at Evansdale Library in the Circulation Department. My position as a librarian in no way affects my political standing.

Myth #2: If you take the letters that make up the name "Paul Santos", you can spell "Nap Ass Lout"
True. There are thousands of anagrams that can be gleaned from my name.

Myth #3: Paul Santos always plays the Norse because Norsemen gain favor the fastest
False. False. False. I am sick and tired of people looking for excuses as to why I waxed their asses in the AoM tournament. For the last time, Norsemen probably gain favor the SLOWEST of all cultures. Norse have to fight or hunt to gain favor! It's true that Hersirs gain favor very slowly by just being on the map. However, if you are only using myth units, they gain no favor at all for fighting. Get off deez nutz.

Myth #4: Paul Santos is a tool of the Democratic Party
Not quite False, and not entirely True. I wouldn't describe myself so much as "a tool," but as a simple machine. Like a lever, inclined plane, wheel, screw, wedge, or pulley. If you still don't get it, take this quiz. Paul Santos has also been known to support causes "owned" by the Republican party, and will be extremely vocal about his stance. Patriotism is his most proud cause, and Paul Santos seeks to enlighten members of all parties (including the Republicans) of the merits of true Patriotism.